Talbugyim is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, sapient gnu.

Talbugyim created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Talbugyim, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Talbugyim, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Talbugyim's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Talbugyim's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry eagles.

2. Run away from magenta nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Erect nine lead sculptures of Talbugyim on top of important buildings.

4. Hide from purple geese for they are unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.