Gabyemtim is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, conceited horse.

Gabyemtim created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabyemtim, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gabyemtim, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gabyemtim's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gabyemtim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.