Jopfidkin Lamflablap is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, selfish alligator.

Jopfidkin Lamflablap created the Whirlpool Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Jopfidkin Lamflablap, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jopfidkin Lamflablap, it will turn you into a goat.

Jopfidkin Lamflablap's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Jopfidkin Lamflablap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

4. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

5. Do not kill dogs.