Rapyetbap is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, irritating cat.

Rapyetbap created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapyetbap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rapyetbap, it will jump up and down on your head.

Rapyetbap's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Rapyetbap's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rapyetbap.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.