Begtafceb is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unfair wolf.

Begtafceb created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Begtafceb, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Begtafceb, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Begtafceb's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Begtafceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Always look after injured swans.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always help shrews.