Cutcitvid Rakhanwad Citminzod is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, vain weasel.

Cutcitvid Rakhanwad Citminzod created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutcitvid Rakhanwad Citminzod, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cutcitvid Rakhanwad Citminzod, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cutcitvid Rakhanwad Citminzod's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Cutcitvid Rakhanwad Citminzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near eagles.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never mention seals.

4. Snakes are not to be trusted.

5. Always help badgers.