Ponvinlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, impressive raven.

Ponvinlarp created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponvinlarp, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ponvinlarp, he will torture you forever.

Ponvinlarp's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Ponvinlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never write about gravity.