Quillkonrip is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, overgenerous cat.

Quillkonrip created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillkonrip, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quillkonrip, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quillkonrip's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Quillkonrip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Pray towards the north.