Kopkemzen is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, happy lobster.

Kopkemzen created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopkemzen, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kopkemzen, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kopkemzen's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Kopkemzen's Holy Commandments

1. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must love Kopkemzen.

3. Do not hurt capybaras.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.