Guprenyattkadquamyokmablin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awe-inspiring weasel.

Guprenyattkadquamyokmablin created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Guprenyattkadquamyokmablin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Guprenyattkadquamyokmablin, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Guprenyattkadquamyokmablin's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Guprenyattkadquamyokmablin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Always obey Guprenyattkadquamyokmablin's priests.

4. Run away if seven snakes approach from the south.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.