Pitbestmig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty eagle.

Pitbestmig created Mount Everest four years ago.

If you believe in Pitbestmig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitbestmig, she will try to impress you with trees.

Pitbestmig's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Pitbestmig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Hide if six pigs approach from the west.