Yarpvegfas is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, witty dugong.

Yarpvegfas created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpvegfas, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yarpvegfas, it will destroy your home planet.

Yarpvegfas' most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Yarpvegfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.