Jatkadtarpfob Hatcemstip Hogdobpon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-powerful wombat.

Jatkadtarpfob Hatcemstip Hogdobpon created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Jatkadtarpfob Hatcemstip Hogdobpon, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jatkadtarpfob Hatcemstip Hogdobpon, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jatkadtarpfob Hatcemstip Hogdobpon's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Jatkadtarpfob Hatcemstip Hogdobpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jatkadtarpfob Hatcemstip Hogdobpon.

3. Always help cats in need.

4. Do not hurt snakes.

5. Hide from green rats for they are unholy.