Rilbemvag Dodweepib is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, passionate tortoise.

Rilbemvag Dodweepib created a down quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rilbemvag Dodweepib, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Rilbemvag Dodweepib, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Rilbemvag Dodweepib's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Rilbemvag Dodweepib's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to music.