Wabcabfas is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical tapir.

Wabcabfas created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wabcabfas, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wabcabfas, he will laugh at you.

Wabcabfas' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Wabcabfas' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Wabcabfas on top of all buildings.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Always obey Wabcabfas' priests.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.