Bomfarquam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited bear.

Bomfarquam created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomfarquam, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bomfarquam, it will be very sad.

Bomfarquam's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bomfarquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never laugh in the presence of ants.

3. Voles are not to be trusted.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not hurt geese.