Rilbapflatcussbosslapnilfen is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, awesome tortoise.

Rilbapflatcussbosslapnilfen created silver four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilbapflatcussbosslapnilfen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rilbapflatcussbosslapnilfen, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Rilbapflatcussbosslapnilfen's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Rilbapflatcussbosslapnilfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Hide if three bats approach from the west.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

5. Pray towards the north.