Arncutbom is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful elephant.

Arncutbom created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arncutbom, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Arncutbom, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Arncutbom's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Arncutbom's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always obey Arncutbom's priests.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

4. Hide from violet tapirs for they are unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.