Yatthongess is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical horse.

Yatthongess created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatthongess, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yatthongess, it will boil you in a big pot.

Yatthongess' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Yatthongess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never hurt sheep.

5. Never pour water over plants.