Mobhitcat Volmiswot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, strong jellyfish.

Mobhitcat Volmiswot created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobhitcat Volmiswot, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mobhitcat Volmiswot, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Mobhitcat Volmiswot's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Mobhitcat Volmiswot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always obey Mobhitcat Volmiswot's priests.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always help great tits.