Butcidflab is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciless centipede.

Butcidflab created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Butcidflab, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Butcidflab, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Butcidflab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Butcidflab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never jump in the presence of nematodes.

3. Always help swans.

4. Feed all hungry dolphins.

5. Do not chop down trees.