Yartfenfob is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, amazing dolphin.

Yartfenfob created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartfenfob, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yartfenfob, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Yartfenfob's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Yartfenfob's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think ill of sick dolphins.