Funcuthen is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, benevolent coyote.

Funcuthen created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Funcuthen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Funcuthen, she will torture you forever.

Funcuthen's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Funcuthen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to shrews while wearing yellow boots.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always wear fawn.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.