Cemsitwap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, selfish snail.

Cemsitwap created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemsitwap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cemsitwap, he will turn you into a slug.

Cemsitwap's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Cemsitwap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray ducks for they are unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.