Dissfubgab is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish clam.

Dissfubgab created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissfubgab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dissfubgab, it will make you grow a tail.

Dissfubgab's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Dissfubgab's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Hide from mauve seals for they are unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never feed rice to great tits while wearing violet skirts.