Gigladfot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, proud porpoise.

Gigladfot created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigladfot, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gigladfot, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gigladfot's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gigladfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Respect your elders.