Wikgepxem Pityartzim is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, tiresome mole.

Wikgepxem Pityartzim created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikgepxem Pityartzim, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wikgepxem Pityartzim, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Wikgepxem Pityartzim's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Wikgepxem Pityartzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Wikgepxem Pityartzim's priests.

2. You must never eat coconuts.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.