Dinlabjap is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, impressive badger.

Dinlabjap created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Dinlabjap, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dinlabjap, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dinlabjap's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Dinlabjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always help mice in need.

4. Never wear jumpers.

5. Do not wear fawn clothing.