Tabdapomtvin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unfair alligator.

Tabdapomtvin created the Sol system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabdapomtvin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tabdapomtvin, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Tabdapomtvin's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tabdapomtvin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Never think ill of sick great tits.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always take life seriously.