Funbellnart is a god.

She takes the form of a large, fast badger.

Funbellnart created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Funbellnart, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Funbellnart, she will cry a lot.

Funbellnart's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Funbellnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of seals.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never hurt mites.

5. Funbellnart loves gulls, so they must be respected.