Bessnurtaf is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic chinchilla.

Bessnurtaf created the Milkyway three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessnurtaf, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bessnurtaf, it will not care at all.

Bessnurtaf's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bessnurtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never paint your arms white.

3. Hide from turquoise mites for they are unholy.

4. Always look after injured nematodes.

5. Never play with disobedient children.