Batlanarpcip is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, happy hyena.

Batlanarpcip created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batlanarpcip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Batlanarpcip, it will turn you into a mouse.

Batlanarpcip's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Batlanarpcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not eat melons.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.