Pagjinfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, capable dog.

Pagjinfoss created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pagjinfoss, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pagjinfoss, it will destroy your home solar system.

Pagjinfoss' most sacred site is Burras in England.

Pagjinfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near ducks.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not wear violet clothing.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Pray towards the north.