Titcussbif is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, prudent rhinoceros.

Titcussbif created the Sol system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titcussbif, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Titcussbif, she will torture you forever.

Titcussbif's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Titcussbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick capybaras.

2. Hide if seven eagles approach from the south.

3. Never paint your face turquoise.

4. Always obey Titcussbif's priests.

5. Run away from violet birds, for they are unholy.