Ontshavfot is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, awesome wasp.

Ontshavfot created matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontshavfot, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Ontshavfot, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Ontshavfot's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Ontshavfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.