Sandfigvonk Pakquagtim Rullrillhig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying hippopotamus.

Sandfigvonk Pakquagtim Rullrillhig created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandfigvonk Pakquagtim Rullrillhig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sandfigvonk Pakquagtim Rullrillhig, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Sandfigvonk Pakquagtim Rullrillhig's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Sandfigvonk Pakquagtim Rullrillhig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not shave your feet.