Vigbasttan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, witless octopus.

Vigbasttan created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigbasttan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vigbasttan, she will send you a sign.

Vigbasttan's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vigbasttan's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Run away from brown sharks, for they are unholy.