Tonflowdot is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, awesome cow.

Tonflowdot created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonflowdot, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tonflowdot, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tonflowdot's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tonflowdot's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Hide if six bats approach from the east.

3. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Tonflowdot on top of important buildings.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not covet oxen.