Volmipbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witless crane.

Volmipbaf created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volmipbaf, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Volmipbaf, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Volmipbaf's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Volmipbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. You must never eat limes.

3. Always obey Volmipbaf's priests.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Volmipbaf.

5. Never eat parsnips.