Tomlopsom is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unsympathetic gerbil.

Tomlopsom created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomlopsom, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tomlopsom, she will not invite you to parties.

Tomlopsom's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tomlopsom's Holy Commandments

1. Tomlopsom loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never wear gray boots.

4. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never eat green fruit.