Absigtin is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish dolphin.

Absigtin created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Absigtin, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Absigtin, he will turn you into a rat.

Absigtin's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Absigtin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never wear white shorts.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Absigtin.