Omincaptap is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, merciful skunk.

Omincaptap created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omincaptap, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Omincaptap, she will not care.

Omincaptap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Omincaptap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Erect three copper sculptures of Omincaptap on top of important buildings.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never hurt dogs.