Janomtcar is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, irritating horse.

Janomtcar created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Janomtcar, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Janomtcar, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Janomtcar's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Janomtcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Never paint your head white.

4. Worship no other gods but Janomtcar.

5. Put Janomtcar first in all things.