Yotgad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, grumpy grasshopper.

Yotgad created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yotgad, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yotgad, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Yotgad's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Yotgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick turtles.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not hurt goats.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never wear violet rings.