Flathentaltonhudtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, irritating jaguar.

Flathentaltonhudtaf created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flathentaltonhudtaf, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flathentaltonhudtaf, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Flathentaltonhudtaf's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Flathentaltonhudtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Rats are not to be trusted.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Put Flathentaltonhudtaf first in all things.