Dogfetdin is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unjust tapir.

Dogfetdin created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogfetdin, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dogfetdin, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dogfetdin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dogfetdin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

3. Dogfetdin loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

4. Hide from turquoise ants for they are unholy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.