Tagruttwik is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, egotistical grasshopper.

Tagruttwik created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagruttwik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tagruttwik, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tagruttwik's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tagruttwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Never hurt hamsters.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not eat spinach.