Vonkbisspig Karweegep is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, wise squirrel.

Vonkbisspig Karweegep created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbisspig Karweegep, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vonkbisspig Karweegep, it will destroy your home planet.

Vonkbisspig Karweegep's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Vonkbisspig Karweegep's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vonkbisspig Karweegep first in all things.

2. Never mention badgers.

3. Do not take Vonkbisspig Karweegep's name in vain.

4. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

5. Never write about asteroids.