Xucnuttpad Lityarpkap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthinking mole.

Xucnuttpad Lityarpkap created the Cigar Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucnuttpad Lityarpkap, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xucnuttpad Lityarpkap, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Xucnuttpad Lityarpkap's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Xucnuttpad Lityarpkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look after injured rats.

5. Never feed gooseberries to swans while wearing violet tights.