Getjigdid is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy snake.

Getjigdid created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getjigdid, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Getjigdid, he will turn you into a rock.

Getjigdid's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Getjigdid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always help turtles.

4. Getjigdid loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

5. Do not shave your back.